Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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