We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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