It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize