good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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