i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize