New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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