He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize