ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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