I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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