Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
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He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
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Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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