i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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