You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize