there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
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Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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