Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(323): View more from California

don't go home with that guy from jersey

(626): View more from California

i know, not worth the blood test

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(323): don't go home with that guy from jersey (626): i know, not worth the blood test http://tfl.nu/va7v

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes

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(603): my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes http://tfl.nu/2y76

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(248): View more from Michigan

Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest

(248): View more from Michigan

If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does

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(248): Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest (248): If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does http://tfl.nu/2sf6

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(863): View more from Florida

We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.

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(863): We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits. http://tfl.nu/7sfp

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(707): View more from California

I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.

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(707): I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday. http://tfl.nu/uhpk

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(205): View more from Alabama

I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.

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(205): I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean. http://tfl.nu/fik0

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(662): View more from Mississippi

Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.

(901): View more from Tennessee

BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that

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(662): Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names. (901): BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that http://tfl.nu/oy20

Replies (26) Good night (1733) Bad night (3994)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment

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(908): He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment http://tfl.nu/mluf

Replies (10) Good night (844) Bad night (3170)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny

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(609): Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny http://tfl.nu/e2zy

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(707): View more from California

You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"

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(707): You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip" http://tfl.nu/cn9w

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.

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(860): Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor. http://tfl.nu/foqn

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(310): View more from California

If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic

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(310): If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic http://tfl.nu/pi8f

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(806): View more from Texas

Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap

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(806): Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap http://tfl.nu/wtva

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(907): View more from Alaska

When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.

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(907): When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on. http://tfl.nu/9zlu

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.

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(603): Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by. http://tfl.nu/jwsa

Replies (2) Good night (955) Bad night (187) Order T-Shirt

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