i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize