He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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