If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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