i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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