we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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