I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
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