the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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