There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize