No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
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Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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