I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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