On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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