Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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