he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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