Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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