I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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