im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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