she was so not down for the gang bang
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
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