I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
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is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
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It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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