It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize