but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I don't think brook has ever known best
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
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I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
he laminated a picture of his dick.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
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I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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