You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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