I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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