just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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