His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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