What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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