I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
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I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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