I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
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