I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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