some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
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Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
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While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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