I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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