Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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