roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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