shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I don't deserve a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You did what with his pubic hair?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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