I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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