I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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