I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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